When You Were Mine
by Ryoko Blue
Summary: GxB oneshot What lies beneath what we saw in Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z up until Goku’s death after the Cell Games. What has always been in his heart and the real reasons for his determination?


Summary: What lies beneath what we saw in Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z up until Goku's death after the Cell Games. What has always been in his heart and the real reasons for his determination?

A/N: This is a one sided G/B one shot. And I hope you all like it.

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When You Were Mine

When you were mine, I didn't know it then. A chance meeting, not a very challenging adversary that vehicle of yours was. But I remember it like it happened yesterday because that day was the day I met you, Bulma Briefs. I was a child then, sure twelve years old isn't that young, but I knew nothing about the outside world other than my own little place in the woods with my grandfather. He died, or rather I accidentally squashed him. It really wasn't my fault I didn't know I could turn into a huge ape and destroy everything in my path. The day I met you changed my life forever.

When you were mine, I discovered the difference between boys and girls. Now that I look back on it, I can see why you were so angry. What kind of a good boy was I? I sneak into your bed to sleep like I would with my grandfather, discovering something not quite right with you. As I think about it, it was kind of embarrassing having a no nothing boy like myself while you were sleeping, pull off your panties and have a long look at why girls were different than boys. I can honestly say I deserved everything you threw at me, but I have to admit that…I kinda liked it.

When you were mine, I agreed to marry Chichi because I thought it was something to eat. Still innocent and naivé I was then, I didn't even notice that you seemed a little irritated, folding your arms over your self and huffing at me like that. I didn't pay attention 'cause I was just a boy. But now I know, that memory came back into my mind out of nowhere. No matter how you would overreact and yell at me, I always wanted to protect you, like when you were turned into that carrot. I demanded that you be turned back and fought that no good bunny for you, all for you. I didn't realize it then, that it's always been for you. The beginning of our adventures in searching for the dragon balls together was all for you.

When you were mine, I participated in World Martial Arts tournaments. Even though you were with Yamcha as he was your boyfriend during most of them, you still supported Krillin and I. I loved hearing the cheers. You would just pop up at every single one, even if we hadn't seen each other in years. It always made me happy to see you and hear you. And I think it lifted me up to do even better, I couldn't lose with your cheers and encouragement.

When you were mine, I completely lost track of you. I was a fool to have forgotten to even write you, never mind the fact that I didn't know how at the time, I started to learn so that I could some day soon write you this letter. I remember the day we met up again, on Roshi's island where you met for the first time my son, Gohan. He was so shy, not at all like I was when I was his age. Of course he had one thing I did not, he had a mother. Someone to teach him to read and write, and how to use his head and not just his fists. I'm grateful that Chichi had taught him those things as they are important. I knew she would be a good mother and wife, even if I had felt there was something missing but never voicing that. I think she always knew though. She never brought it up, but if I wasn't training I was lost in my own little world of my past. She could see it in my glazed over look. People assume that I am an idiot, that I know nothing. But I assure you, I may not be book smart and appear single minded, it is just, I like having a good time, is that so wrong? Everything else is so serious, why not have an outlook on life that is cheery? You always did, even if you were screaming for help or needing someone to vent your anger out on which was usually Yamcha, Krillin and on occasion me. But I never minded, because that was just how you were.

When you were mine, aliens landed on the planet and I found out I was one of them. A mighty race of Sayian. I didn't want to be one of them, I wanted to be like you, Bulma, an Earthling because I loved my life and I secretly loved you. I didn't want you to hate me because it was obvious the Sayians were cruel! I'm not like them, yet I can't deny who I am, I was one of them. Then we found out I had a brother and met for the first time the very man that would change your life forever, even as he would threaten to destroy the planet and almost succeed. I will confess the only thought in my mind was my son and you. I had to save the world to protect you, it is cruel to think about it and to admit it and I hope this doesn't change your opinion of me, but I imagined you as my family, not Chichi who is my wife. It's not that I don't love Chichi, in some ways she is very special to me and I am glad I married her…but she isn't you.

When you were mine, you helped with a way to get to the planet Namek and find that planet's dragon balls. I was late in arriving because my friends and wife made me stay behind to heal, how unfair was that! I wanted to help! I wanted to go with you, Bulma. With you, Krillin and now my son. It would have been just like the old days. That's the reason I tried sneaking out. But they caught me every time and stuck me back in that hospital bed.

When you were mine, I became the legendary Super Sayian. Now it may not seem to someone watching me, and they only assumed it was because of my best friend Krillin getting killed. Which partly it was. Don't get me wrong, he's my best friend and it did hurt me intensely that he was killed by that freaky, womanish sounding purple and white lizard thing who went by the name of Freeza. What a silly name, that doesn't even sound remotely threatening, but looks and sounds are deceiving. But that was not the only thing that seemed to push me over the edge, it was the fact that he was a threat to everything I loved and cared about. I could imagine him finding you and hurting you, right in front of me. There's a terrible pain in my heart when I think about that, it threatens to swallow me into a pit of nothingness. I don't think I would have been able to handle that. I would have become a monster, I know it. So to protect you, the first person I met other than my grandfather, the life you had given me away from the mountains. You helped me meet new people and make new friends and find out what I was meant to do. To protect the innocent and the weak…don't misunderstand me, I don't think you're weak Bulma, if anything you are strong. You never give up. You have determination that could rival my own strength and size. But I had to save you most of all, since it was you who really gave me life. If enemies knew of my attachment to you, they would have gotten to you. So I had to disguise my affection for you; and in my mind for the time being whenever we were attacked I placed the image of you into the collection of people everywhere who would need me to protect them.

When you were mine, I didn't realize what would happen while you returned to Earth with everyone while I was stuck on some strange planet called Yardratt. Away from you and away from my son. The people of that planet were kind and taught me many things that would really come in useful. All I thought about in those days and nights was when I would be able to see you again. It was one of the only things that kept me going, besides the great food they seemed to have, and you know how I love my munchies. I wondered what was going on with you, were you safe? Were you worried about me? Was Yamcha behaving himself and Oolong still behaving like a pervert around you, which was all the time so I guess the answer to that question was…yes.

When you were mine, you and the other warriors knew where I was going to be landing. How did you know? I assume my son and the others could feel me approaching and went off to meet me. When I landed and stepped out of the space pod, I was so incredibly happy to see you among everyone else, what shocked me a little and I didn't show it was the fact that Vegeta was there too. Probably to try and defeat me or something, since he seems obsessed with that main objective. Which is pointless, who cares really. I find my strength from the ones that I love and who love me, that's what gives me the ability to beat every adversary I come across. It is not like I have anything to prove I just want to protect you, Bulma, most of all.

When you were mine, I met your son from the future. For someone so strong he sure had good manners and was easily embarrassed. I was completely shocked out of my mind to learn that your son's father was in fact Vegeta, talk about insane. I really did not like that bit of news but I hid it well behind a smile and a giddy attitude. I looked over at you and then at Vegeta and wondered what were you thinking? Your future son then told me that he was the product of a passion thing, I think when I heard that I felt my stomach jump into my throat. It was a sickening feeling. Did I tell you that I am good at hiding how I really feel? I'm sure I mentioned that a few hundred times already. The teenage boy quickly explained to me everything that was going to happen in three years and then he departed. I just wanted to hurry and form a plan because looking at Vegeta was making me sick! Piccolo and I decided to train with my son while Yamcha and Vegeta went back with you. Tien and Chioutsu decided to head off on their own and we would meet back in three years. If you wondered why I mentioned to you about you eventually becoming pregnant, I was really hoping to put in your mind that something was going to happen and to hopefully be aware of it. I guess I wanted it to be avoided even if it would alter the future a little. But it seemed my cheery words didn't make that kind of an impact, maybe I should have been more serious.

When you were mine, I trained hard. In my mind I was demanding Piccolo hurt me, kick me, beat me, distract me! I worked so hard trying to ignore the pain in my head, the pain in my heart at the fact that one of those days while I am here and you are there away from me at your huge home. That Vegeta will touch you, and you will let him. I can't take it, beat me harder, make me suffer! Destroy me! I don't want to imagine this. I don't want to think of his hands on you, caressing you, kissing you, raising your body heat, higher and higher. It hurts, it aches, it stings so bad. Why? I ask myself in the middle of an attack to Piccolo and my son manages to throw one at me which I dodge. Why would you allow him the feel and pleasure of you? Vegeta will never love you, not like I do. He will never be the man you want. You deserve someone kind and understanding who will support and praise you. Not hurt and belittle you, make you feel less than nothing. I would never do that to you, I would never make you feel that way. I wanted to go right to you and tell you what was going to happen and make you stay away from him. He doesn't deserve you! You were mine, mine all along and he will come in and take you away from me! Bulma you can't do this! It was time for a break and as I calmed down I rested against a tree, thinking.

When you were mine, I loved you with everything that I am. Haven't you ever wondered why I barely touched you, if ever at all? Sure when I was younger I did, but as I got older, I stopped. It is because if I touched you, even for a second I wouldn't be able to stop myself from wanting you, wanting to hold you, to kiss you. To make you feel everything that I am feeling and more. To show you my heart and that it beats just for you. I can't betray my mate that way, and I can't hurt you that way. So I try my hardest not to touch your arm or finger even though I want to so badly, badly that it aches and drives me to near insanity. I will never put that much of a strain on you and even as I am mated to a woman who I have grown to care for it is not the same. She has never and will never replace you. I know that I have no right to tell you how to live your life. As you are now no longer mine, I can't stop you from being with who you want. If you want Vegeta, I will not stand in your way. As much as it hurts me, I will support you with a smile and a friendly air.

When you were mine, I took you and our friendship for granted and you slipped away from me. Does he make you happy? Does he make you smile? Does he hold you when the nights are long and cold? Does he love you with all his heart and would he sell his soul just to be near you?

When you were mine, I had several chances but I let them pass me by. I could have been the one you turned to, the one you loved. But I did nothing. I used to be the one that protected you. I used to be the name you called out when you were in trouble. As I watched you holding your new born son as Vegeta left you, I wanted to kill him! How could he just leave you like that? I could see how much his leaving really hurt you. He was a fool and an idiot, but you loved him. I was no longer in your head, you would call for him now and he was throwing it all away just to try to be better than me. Didn't he realize he was better than me, because he had you?

Bulma, I am writing you this letter because I wanted to tell you everything. Being dead is all right, I was dead once before. But it made me realize that life was nothing without you because knowing you had been the happiest times of my life. Even death will not diminish the love I hold for you. Everything I had done had always been for you. My life had been yours, when you were mine…

Looking over his shoulder to make sure he was alone, two large strong hands tore the letter into many pieces. Walking to the adjoining bathroom he dropped the pieces into the toilet and pulled the lever. The toilet swirled with water pulling down the scraps of that letter, down, down into the sewers.

"Vegeta! Dinner's ready!" Bulma's voice shouted up at him.

He grunted an acknowledgment and stared at the toilet for one last moment, "You third class idiot. I don't care if you have some kind of history together. Bulma's mine now and I'm not going to let you take her from me, even if you're dead." He snickered and turned leaving the bathroom and the bedroom. It was better if Bulma never saw that letter. What Vegeta didn't see was another envelope flutter down from out of nowhere and land softly on the bedside table near Bulma's side of the bed.

Something was making sure that Bulma knew the truth and that something was Goku who sat with his arms folded, a lopsided grin on his face staring into Baba's crystal ball.

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Well that's it for this one shot. I hoped everyone liked it.

Review!

Thanks,

Ryoko Blue


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